The Empty Chair – Becoming the Home I Spent My Life Looking For where it all began.

A memoir of resilience, hope and belonging.
It is the story that inspired The Long Table Institute and its commitment to creating spaces where people feel seen, heard and valued.

Bookshelf

The Empty Chair

Becoming the Home I Spent My Life Looking For

What if the place you’ve spent your whole life searching for isn’t somewhere you find — but something you build?

As a little girl, Mirjam Hagen learned to make herself small.
She learned to listen for footsteps.
To read the room.
To stay quiet.
To survive.

She grew up without the safety every child should have, carrying experiences she would spend decades trying to understand.
But her story did not end there.
At sixteen, she left home with almost nothing. Along the way, unexpected people opened doors, offered trust and gave her responsibilities she had never imagined she could carry.

The 3D Mock cover of the book The Empty Chair - Becoming the Home I Spent My Life Looking For 
Picture of the tall building the author grew up in and a dandelion growing through concrete outside the building and the sunrise ahead
Back cover with a picture of the Empty Chair and the sunrise ahead

A ship became a place where she discovered belonging.
Work became a place where she discovered what she was capable of.
Motherhood became a reason to keep going.
And when her own children struggled, she found herself fighting battles with schools,
systems, illness and exhaustion — determined to give them the safety she had never had herself.
There were years when simply getting through the day felt like an achievement.

There were moments when she wondered whether she had anything left to give.
And yet, slowly, something began to change.
The people she met.
The children she raised.
The relationships she built.
The choices she made.
Each became part of a life she could never have imagined as that frightened little girl.

Picture of the sailship the author was working on when she was 17 years old
Illustrated by AI

Until one New Year’s Eve, twenty-three people gathered around her table.
There was laughter.
There was warmth.
There was family, but not by blood.

And there was one empty chair.

She had deliberately left it there.
Not because someone was missing.
But because she wanted there always to be room for one more.
For the first time, Mirjam understood:

She had stopped searching for home.

She had built it.

A story about more than survival

The Empty Chair is a deeply personal memoir about childhood, trauma, motherhood, resilience,
belonging and the extraordinary impact other people can have on our lives.

It is about the people who see us when we cannot yet see ourselves.
The people who open a door.
The people who offer trust.
It is about the people who see us when we cannot yet see ourselves.
The people who open a door.
The people who offer trust.
And the people who remind us, sometimes with the simplest gesture, that we have a place here.
But ultimately, this is not a story about what happened to Mirjam.

It is a story about what she chose to build afterwards.
A home.
A family.
A life.
A place where there is always room for one more.

If you have ever wondered where you belong…

If you have ever felt like the difficult one.
The outsider.
The person who didn’t quite fit.
If you have ever carried a past you didn’t choose.
Or wondered whether your story had already decided your future…
this book is for you.

Because the worst chapter of your life does not have to be the whole story.
And sometimes, the home you’ve spent your life looking for…
is the one you eventually learn to build yourself.

There is always room for one more

Coming Soon

The book The Empty Chair – Becoming the Home I Spent My Life Looking For
will be available in hardback, paperback, audio and eBook editions on Amazon.

About the Author

Picture of the author Mirjam Hagen

Mirjam Hagen is the founder of The Long Table Institute, where she works with leadership,
artificial intelligence, organisational development, education and publishing.
Through her work and writing, she explores how resilience, learning and belonging can create lasting change.

Publications:

The Empty Chair – Becoming the Home I Spent My Life Looking For is her first memoir- coming soon 2026

-Little Pernille and the rainbow is her first publication in English- published on Amazon in 2026

-Lille Pernille og tannfeen – Norwegian childrens book- published in 2014

-Lille Pernille og regnbuens gull – Norwegian childrens book- published in 2013

Other publications:

From my Bookshelf on Amazon.com: Author on Amazon
From the Publications
From the Library

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